For some reason, I thought May 5th took forever getting here. Since the news about the recurrence on April 9th, the last shred of hope I have has been in the bone scan showing the spots from the CT scan isn’t actually cancer – how awesome would that be?! You see, there’s a part of me that’s still struggling to accept the news about the bone mets. Maybe it’s because I had the same scan exactly three months prior and there were no signs of metastases to the bone or maybe it’s because it doesn’t hurt to have some faith. Either way, May 5th couldn’t come soon enough.
Hubby and I got to the appointment in time and I was asked to complete a questionnaire prior to the appointment. The questions included whether I was feeling any pain in any of my joints to which I answered no. After about 15 minutes, I was called into a room and the ‘radiologist’ asked me a few more questions about the surgeries I’d had in the past etc. She then proceeded to explain the procedure to me. I would be injected with a radioactive substance (for some reason I can’t get the song ‘Radioactive’ by Imagine Dragons out of my head every time I say that word!) and I would be asked to come back in 2.5hours for the scan. She explained that it was not advisable that I stayed in close proximity with the little one today as babies are a lot more sensitive to radioactive substances. That got me upset for some reason as I was looking forward to giving my lil munchkin loads of cuddles after the appointment.
With 2.5hours to spare, hubby and I left the hospital and he took me to this really lovely restaurant for breakfast. I had waffles with assorted fruit toppings. I actually managed to finish the waffles and most of the fruits (I’ve been struggling with eating decent amounts of food for the last few months so finishing a dish is a big deal to us). Once we were done eating, we checked out a few stores for furniture for the new house and the highlight of the morning was my husband telling me how lucky he is to have me. As terrible as this journey is, having the unconditional love and support of my husband is a constant motivation to fight this with all I have.
The two hours flew by in no time and we went back to the hospital for the scan. I was called in to the room and was asked to lie down on a table and the technician explained a bit more about the scan. I was told I had to remain still for the entire time of the scan and my feet were tied together with a band to ensure I didn’t move them! Next, I was slowly moved into a machine that reminded me of the CT scan machine except this one was literally in my face and it stayed that way for about 10 minutes! I never thought I was claustrophobic but I felt very trapped for some reason and I had to shut my eyes so I didn’t freak out. Everything went quiet and that was when I realized how fast my heart was beating. I must have realized in that moment how much was hanging on the results from the scan. For some reason, the song “it is well…” kept playing in my mind and I actually managed to fall asleep!!! I woke up about 25 minutes later when the technician came in to tell me the scan was over. Apparently, people falling asleep during the scan is pretty normal.
The hardest part is having to wait till May 14th to find out the results from the scan. I kept trying to read the technician’s face for any idea of what the scan showed but she gave nothing away. It’s going to be a busy few days and I’m sure the appointment with the oncologist will be here before I know it. I’m crossing everything for some positive news!