This is one of those phrases that I’ve heard pretty much all my life. I recall how most Sunday services used to end with the lines “And the peace of God which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”. I never really gave it much thought in itself but lately, it’s been on my mind a lot.I have been through a million emotions since April 9th but I am finally at that point where I feel peace.
Since I got the news about the recurrence, I have been reaching for something positive to hold on to. My initial approach was to search for stories of people who have lived with advanced breast cancer for decades. I spent several hours and days going through loads of forums, websites, Facebook pages but I found nothing I could hold on to. The longest I saw was a 12 year survivor (and counting!) and by metastatic standards, that is pretty incredible. However at 32, that just wasn’t good enough for me. I spent more time searching and then it finally clicked last night as I lay in bed.
I have proof that God answers prayers! I can count a million ways in which God has proved himself time and time again. Having my husband in my life is proof that God loves me and that he thought I deserve only the best. But the biggest proof of God and the fact that he answers prayers is our beautiful daughter.
From the first day we knew we were pregnant, we started praying for our little one. We told God exactly what we wanted. We wanted a HEALTHY and HAPPY baby. Our lil one was 9.5 months and I think she’s only ever had a cold once in the entire time we’ve been blessed with her! That tells me God answered our prayers.
Our second request from God was for a happy child. I have lost count of how many people have commented on how happy she is. She is easily amused and never really throws a fuss. The last 6 weeks would have been tough on any baby. I’ve had to drop her with some great friends when I have appointments and she just takes it in her stride. We’ve had a few people come visit us and she gets on with them like they’ve always been in her life. I honestly don’t think she’s ever cried inconsolably since we gave birth to her. Every time she smiles at me or someone makes a comment on how happy she is, I am reminded of how God answered our prayers.
It mattered to me so much that she was born with a head full of hair (don’t ask me why!). I thought I would just throw that into the prayer mix. Guess what?! She was born with so much hair! She’s lost about a third of it thanks to her love for sleeping on her back but we still get comments from people all the time about how much hair she’s got.
I lay in bed last night and it finally clicked; God loves me. He must care about what matters to me and I have a living proof of how much he cares. He blessed us with a perfect little girl that is all we could have ever wanted in a child and a whole lot more!
With that reminder, I went to bed last night with such peace in my heart and mind. I’m going to keep thanking God everyday for his perfect healing and even though I don’t get why I’m going through this, I believe he’s got me in the palm of his hand and that he loves me. That right there is the only positive thing I need to hold on to 🙂