No idea why…

Have you ever felt like crying your eyes out for no apparent reason? Well, you are not alone as that’s me right now. I’m lying down here balling my eyes out and I have no idea what exactly has set the fountains running.

Maybe it’s because bedtime was especially difficult with my 10 month old today – but that would normally not get me this hysterical.

Maybe it’s because I held her hand whilst she laid in her cot and that calmed her down; I couldn’t help wondering if I’d always be there to hold her hand when she needs me.

Maybe it’s because I feel like I’ve aged overnight; I ache all over and it’s worse in the morning and after I’ve sat for a while.

Maybe it’s because I feel like I can’t moan about the little things I hate like waking up in the middle night drenched in my sweat.

It could be any of the things above, it could be a combination of all three or it could be none at all.

Today is just one of those days I feel sorry for myself and I have no idea why…


One thought on “No idea why…

  1. I can relate deeply, as its really hard to figure out the emotions that come sometimes. The first few years with a first baby are big feeling years. With that are the waves of grief that stage IV cancer brings along. Also, its hard to find time to just feel what you feel with a little one there. Emotions are like waves, they always come and go, but sometimes they can be tidal waves, which stops me in my tracks. Inconvenient, disruptive, disturbing. Hope there is a real warm shoulder you can cry on until the feeling eases up, because it will if it can have its say.


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