My state of mind

I’ve never been one for rollercoaster rides, actually I’ve never been on one! Highs and lows don’t fascinate me like some others and stability is my thing. Well, I’m learning that with a cancer diagnosis comes a lot of highs and lows. Some days you feel great and could even forget you have cancer but some other days you feel so low that you wonder if you’d ever feel ‘okay’ again. This tendency to experience unexpected bouts of highs and lows is probably what I’ve struggled with the most.

The last week has had me feeling as good as I have felt in a while (thanks for all the prayers for strength!). My appetite is slowly starting to pick up and I’m enjoying researching about foods and diet. I have started making slight tweaks to my diet; eliminating as much sugar, dairy and processed food as possible and replacing those with more veggies and fruits. I think I might even like broccoli – who would have thought?! I have never been great with my veggies so trying to make a conscious effort with these. I also choose whole grains instead of white flour and brown rice/pasta instead of white. Reading the book  “Anti Cancer – a new way of life” by David Servan-Schreiber and I’ve found it very interesting. Taking some of his suggestions and trying to incorporate those as well. Like I said, nothing major just enough to make me feel like I’m doing something to aid the treatment.

With being off work, I’ve been spending a lot more time with my daughter and that has been amazing. She turned 18 months yesterday and it is safe to say she’s a handful! I probably have less than 1/10th of her energy so keeping up with her sometimes could be challenging. Great thing I have my Mum here to help when I’m struggling. I will probably look into signing her up for a couple of activities a week so she can get out of the house and hopefully burn off some of that energy haha!

In terms of treatment, I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday and he wanted me to go back on the full dose of the chemo drug (Xeloda). He thinks we need to maximize the potential benefit of the drug and at this point, he thinks the full dose would be the most beneficial. He told me to cut down on it again if I experience similar chest and hip pain like I did the last time. I am still on the Dexamethasone but titrating that down by the day and will hope to be off it completely in a week. Fingers crossed for no crazy side effects and that I can complete the cycle this time around.

Regarding work, the plan is to be off for at least the next month. I want to complete a cycle of the chemo (2 weeks on and 1 week off) to see how I get on and decide after that if I think I can combine it with work. Work has been great and supportive with me needing some time off which has helped. I need to come up with stuff to keep me busy day, suggestions are welcome! 🙂

I am learning to make the most of the days I feel good and to take it a day at a time. Today has been a good day and I am thankful for the gift of life, friends and family ❤

 

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