May 10, 2016

Most people close to me will tell you how horribly 2016 started. My burden of disease was at an all time high. I’d blown through 5 treatment in one year and none of them had managed to buy me more than 4 months at a time. By the time we got to May, things were pretty much as bad it could get (or so I thought). By May 10, I couldn’t deal with the pIN any longer and my good friend drove me to the hospital for what was supposed to be a quick in and out; needless to say May 10th marked the start of what turned out to be the worst 4 weeks of my life!

To be lying down in bed at this point writing this blog feels so surreal. I look back now and it scares me when I think about how bad things got. I remember the sadness in the eyes of the people I love the most. I remember the fear I heard when I spoke to family and friends over the phone. I remember how incredibly lonely the path to death felt especially when you want nothing more than life. A lot has happened in the last year since that hospital admission and I am beyond grateful to be alive and stable.

This year started on a good note and I have had the most amazing 5 months. April 9, 2017 made it two years since I heard the horrible news about the recurrence. Hubby, Tara and I have been on the most amazing holidays to Mexico and Hawaii. We celebrated out 4th wedding anniversary and our daughter is growing into a beautiful, affectionate, smart and caring little girl. I couldn’t be more grateful for the many blessings in my life.

I have been having really crippling bone/nerve/muscle pain. Tonight was especially bad and I ended up crying and rolling all over the floor in a bid to escape the pain. I go for physiotherapy couple of times a week and I really hope we can get the stiff muscles working again.

The last few years have been filled with so many ups and downs but I am grateful for life, love and happiness; I prays for many of the ups and very little downs but I know God has got me in the palm of his hands and he will perfect all that concerns me!


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